May 3, 2000
Fragility v2.0 Update

The Fragility V2.0 tour is now in full swing, making its way around the wonderful United States (and Canada). I'm not really sure why, but for some reason I decided that this would be a good time to take a minute and catch up on a few things. So shut up and pull up a chair.

First off, it's been brought to my attention that people have been throwing things at Trent Reznor and Maynard James Keenan during their performances. I've been worried that perhaps some people have somehow misinterpreted the March 22 edition ("Safety First") and are under the impression that it's okay to hurl objects at performers on stage. If you don't like the song they're playing, the polite thing to do is just wait for the next song.

On a side note, I hear Billy Corgan enjoys getting konked on the head by a water bottle now and then.

However, I must commend both Trent and Maynard for being such good sports about the whole ordeal, and not throwing a hissy-fit and doing something silly like bringing the bottle-throwers onto the stage and threatening to beat them up. But then again, who would really go and do something as juvenile as that?

In my review of the April 12 Cleveland show, I mentioned that NIN had performed a cover of "Jump" by hip-hop duo Kris Kross during the Outside tour with David Bowie Apparently some of you were not sure if I was serious or not.

Well, okay, I lied. You got me. They didn't play it during the Outside tour... instead, the cover was actually performed during NIN's 1994 Self Destruct tour. I apologize for any confusion that my perpetual lying may have caused.

I have recently learned that Trent will not be performing at the Miami show, since it takes place on his birthday. Instead, Trent's cousin Jed Reznor will be taking his place. Don't panic; it's not the end of the world. The setlist will be the same, and the other bandmembers will still be playing. The only real differences between Trent Reznor and Jed Reznor are that Jed is slightly less attractive-looking than Trent (partially due to the "mullet" hairstyle), Trent's never served jail time, and there's also the fact that Jed has no musical ability whatsoever (a minor detail). Other than that, it should still be a great show.

I should have mentioned this during the Cleveland concert review, but since my mind often tends to have the sharpness of an apple, I forgot. Anyhow, upon seeing NIN's live show firsthand, I realized that the "danger zone" referred to in "Safety First" is much larger than I thought it was. I failed to take into account the fact that Trent has been beefing up lately, and is capable of launching projectiles a great deal farther than before. If anyone has been injured/killed as a result of my miscalculations... sorry. My bad.


Some people are going around and selling NIN T-shirts which are not official or authorized by the band. These people are evil and you should stay away from them. If you're gonna spend $35 on a T-shirt, at least be sure your money is actually going into Trent's pocket and not that of some fat greasy guy named Jeff. If someone approaches you and tries to sell you one of these bootleg shirts, the proper thing to do is to scream "THE DEVIL IS IN YOU!" and stomp on their feet.

That's all for now; you may now resume doing whatever it was you were doing. Thank you for your time.

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