May 17, 2000
Go Trent, It's Your Birthday
Congratulations, Trent Reznor! It's your birthday! Fortunately, May 17 just happened to land on Meathead Perspective day this year. Coincidence? Ha! Well, okay, yeah, I guess it is. Of course, it could also mean that we have some kind of telepathic link that supersedes the basic laws of time and space and causes me to talk to you in my sleep and to know exactly when you're going to the bathroom. But I think I was probably right the first time.
Since today is such a special day, I decided to make this a special edition of the Perspective (hence the special crappy Flash animation on the previous page).
Hey, I have an idea. Let's take a look at some of the awesome stuff that's happened during the life of Trent Reznor.
||It's a shame that Trent didn't stick around with Option 30. Sure, the "Nine Inch Nails" thing has been somewhat of a success, but I just think his career could have gone a lot further singing with a faux accent for a cheesy 80's synth-pop cover band. (Click here to learn more about Option 30)|
WILL YOU STILL NEED ME, WILL YOU STILL FEED ME, WHEN I'M SIXTY-FOUR?
||Anyway, Trent, it's your 35th birthday. You might be thinking, "Oh crap, I'm 35! I'm fucking old!" (unless you're too busy thinking "Why the fuck must he keep bringing up Option 30?") Well, you shouldn't be worried. There's nothing wrong with being old. As long as the Rolling Stones are still out there getting drunk and making albums, there's nothing for you to be fretting over.|
Besides, even when you do get old and wrinkled, that doesn't mean you can't still be cool. There are plenty of old people out there who are still in top form... such as the unmistakably bad-ass Don Knotts.
MOTHER, SHOULD I RUN FOR PRESIDENT?
||One advantage of being 35 is that you're now legally old enough to run for President of the United States! It's about time! I think I speak for everybody when I say America needs a Reznor in the White House (and I'm not talking about a heater).
After the events that have transpired in Washington during the past few years, I think it's time we elected a new leader to restore honesty and dignity to our government. And you, Trent Reznor, are just the man to do it! You can tell Fidel Castro to surf a Cuban missile up your ass!
Sure, you may not know a great deal about politics. You've never even been in the military. But you do look pretty cool in a suit.
IT'S YOUR PARTY, AND YOU CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO
It's YOUR birthday, so this week, it's YOUR Meathead Perspective, as well. That's why we're going to take a moment to honor some of the stuff you like.
THE MEATHEAD PERSPECTIVE SALUTES...
Mmm, Tostitos?! Anyone who's watched Closure an obscene amount
of times, like I have, knows that Tostitos? Restaurant Style tortilla chips
are featured prominently throughout the entire video (well, the first tape).
So, may your birthday be overflowing with Tostitos™ chips and salsa!
I've been listening to Ween for a couple years now, so you can
imagine the rapture I felt when I learned that you, as well, like
Ween. I think if you feel like doing a cover of "I Can't Put My
Finger On It" at tonight's show, you're more than entitled to do so.
(It would fit in great between "Starfuckers, Inc." and "Hurt"...
think about it!)
Hey, how could we forget about the coolest band ever,
||THE WORD "FUCK"|
Of course, last but not least, the magic multi-purpose
word FUCK! I think it's safe to say that you owe
your success more to this word than any other word
out there (of course, the kick-ass music helps, as well).
So, anyway, uh... Happy Birthday Trent. And Happy Birthday to those of you who share Trent Reznor's birthday, including these fine folks: