October 12, 2007
The Year In Meat
||On August 4, 1999, history was made as the first edition of The Meathead Perspective was unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. Within the following weeks, the Perspective soared in popularity, and shortly became the single most visited website on the entire Internet.
Hailed by Trent Reznor as "the best fucking website I've ever seen in my fucking life," the Perspective was recognized by many as the most important and vital resource for Nine Inch Nails-related information available.
|As shown by the completely legitimate and non-fabricated bar graph here on the right, The Meathead Perspective quickly rocketed past the other "major, relevant sites" like Yahoo! and MSN. Those bastards didn't even see it coming!
Right now you are thinking to yourself (or shouting it out loud, depending on whether or not you're a psycho) "How has The Meathead Perspective touched the individual lives of its readers?" Stop screaming for a minute and I'll talk about that.
||Here we can see the dramatic impact that The Meathead Perspective has made upon the life of Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor. The "dark, brooding" Trent is now gone, thanks to the pure side-splitting hilarity of such editions as "What Makes Trent So Spiffy?", "Three MC's And One TR", and "Meathead Tells Trent How To Do His Job".|
Now, let us welcome the new Happy, Fun-Loving Trent Reznor into our midst!
||Of course, the fans have also been reached and touched (and occasionally groped). Thanks to the Perspective, now anyone can learn to look like a real NIN fan, survive NIN concerts and even sneak backstage and become best buddies with the band!|
What exciting times in which we live!
||Shortly after The Meathead Perspective was launched, Nine Inch Nails decided to copy my "website" idea and hired some guy to put up an official NIN "website". Of course, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I didn't bother with suing them. And unlike that loser Onofrio guy, I'll just let slide the fact that Trent stole my songs and put them on The Fragile.
THE MEATHEAD PERSPECTIVE TIMELINE
9.4.99 - The Meathead Perspective opens. The mark has been made. The way out is through. Kinda I want to.|
9.21.99 - After reading the Meathead Perspective, Trent Reznor's self-confidence is restored, and he releases The Fragile, finally.
10.6.99 - Meathead informs the world on how to listen to The Fragile, causing people to begin purchasing copies of the album.
11.17.99 - Meathead exposes the mysterious Leo "Boom Boom" Herrera, and the world recoils in horror. Well, except for the chicks.
12.22.99 - Trent Reznor participates in his first official on-line chat with his fans. Of course, he was distracted at the time, due to the fact that he was busy reading the new Meathead Perspective Christmas Special and having a good, hearty laugh.
1.1.00 - Meathead (and his computer) fail to be annihilated by exploding buildings, missiles and grizzly bears during Y2K. The Meathead Perspective continues, full speed ahead.
1-14-00 - Nine Inch Nails release their new music video for "Into The Void", and Meathead makes fun of it five days later. Trent immediately proceeds to telephone Meathead and yell at him for being "such a dickhead".
1-26-00 - Meathead makes fun of Richard Patrick, and shows everybody this funny picture.
2-23-00 - Meathead half-assedly puts up "The Skinny On The Tour Dates", which 95% of viewers agree "pretty much blows". Meathead has himself a good long cry, and then pulls himself together, like a man.
4-12-00 - Meathead attends Day 1 of the Fragility 2.0 tour, and has himself a jolly good time. Discovers that Leo Herrera is only four feet tall in person.
5-17-00 - Trent Reznor turns 35, and, like a good neighbor, Meathead is there to pick on him. Trent again telephones Meathead and tells him to "fucking quit it with the Option 30 jokes".
5-31-00 - Meathead decides to shut down The Meathead Perspective, to the dismay of millions everywhere. President Clinton calls for a national day of mourning.
7-19-00 - Meathead puts out "Na Na Na, Nah: A Guide To Listening To The Fragile Without Feeling Like A Big Loser", and subsequently recieves a flood of emails saying "Whoa, you're still alive?"
7-28-00 - NIN gives in to Meathead's ransom demands and puts up a special new feature in which fans can remix "The Big Come Down".
8-4-00 - The Meathead Perspective turns 1 year old, and begins teething.
8-5-00 - Meathead sleeps in, gets up in the afternoon, and sits around the house like a lazy turd.