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September 17, 2000
It's Alive!

Good Sweet Mother of Jeff! Doth mine eyes deceive me, or is nothingrecords.com actually open?! On Friday night I went out to see a movie (Nurse Betty, which I recommend, by the way), and when I returned home to the comfort of my computer, I decided to swing by the Nothing Records site for my daily dose of frustration and disappointment.

But instead of disappointment, my reaction was more akin to that of the time about a year ago when I went outside and saw the lawn gnomes dancing in a circle while tossing around a baby's head. Except this time I knew I hadn't ingested any LSD, which made it all seem even more bizarre and frightening. Yes, what I was seeing was really there. NothingRecords.com... was open to the public.

Right now you're all saying, "Goddamn it, Meathead, you just made a new Meathead Perspective a couple days ago! Enough already!" I know, and I'm sorry. But, you see, the NIN camp thought they could dodge a bullet by opening the site immediately after a new Meathead Perspective was released, because they thought there'd be no way I'd make another new one so soon. Sorry, Trent, you thought wrong.

Let's take a closer look at the longest-delayed website in recorded history.


Hooray!
This here is the main page that you see once you go past the message that reminds you how much better Macs are than PC's. You have to have Shockwave on your computer, or else you won't be able to use the rockin' scrollbar thing at the bottom, and without the rockin' scrollbar thing, it's a real pain in the ass to try to get around.

Using the scrollbar, you can quickly locate your favorite Nothing artists, like Autechre, The Bowling Green and WHAM!. For the sake of this demonstration, however, let's look up some info on one of the lesser-known bands, "Nine Inch Nails."


After clicking on the Nine Inch Nails logo (the one that looks like "N, I, backwards N" inside a rectangular box), we are greeted with a nice picture and little history of the band. Scrolling down a little bit reveals a link to the band's official website (http://www.angelfire.com/la2/nails666/index.htm), and links to other little tidbits regarding Nine Inch Nails, such as a discography, more images, and tour information. I'm gonna take a peek at the discography now. Deal with it.



all these and more, available through MP3.com
These Nine Inch Nails fellas have put out a bunch of CD's. Maybe not as many as Billy Corgan, but still not too shabby. Here you can listen to bits of music from these groovy records. You'd better have the latest version of RealPlayer and/or Quicktime, though. Otherwise, you're just not cool enough for Nine Inch Nails-- in which case, you should probably just go back to porn surfing instead. Pervert.



i'm on a nothing.. radio.. woa-oh
One nifty feature of this website is "Radio Nothing" (does that sound backwards to anybody else?), where you can rock out to tunes selected by our Nothing friends Keith Hillebrandt and Leo Herrerrera, as well as a special playlist compiled by those freaks at theninhotline.net, thefragile.com and smashedupsanity.com. I have yet to tune in to Leo's webcast, because part of me is very apprehensive to find out just what kind of music that man listens to. Again, you need to get the latest version of RealPlayer to listen to Radio Nothing, or else settle for being a loser for the rest of your measly life. It's up to you.


There's more to be discovered at NothingRecords.com, but I won't ruin all the suspense for you. Go look for yourself, you lazy bastard.
In a way, though, I'm a little sad that the site is now open. I have many fond memories of making fun of the fact that NothingRecords.com would never open in this lifetime. But now it's time to move on to other things, such as making fun of ObjectMerch.com instead. That should give me something to do for the next three years or so.


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