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November 21, 2000
Be Thankful, Damn It

From: NIN_iZ_GOD_666_420_69_I_WaNt2_HaVe_TrEntZ_LuV_cHiLd@aol.com
To: meathead@theninhotline.net
Subject: U SUCK U DUMMy HEDD LAZY BASTERD I HAT U

HEY U ST00PID METHEAD WHERE ARE IHTE IS THE NEW METHEADD PURSPOCTIVE I WANT TO READ THE NEW METHED PRISPRICTIV NOW YOU FUKK YER MOM AND!! !!!!1 U TAKE 2 LONG 2 MAK NEW MEETHEADD PIPRISPACKTIVEZ AND I WANT IT NWO!!!! EAT MY TERD

- ~*^*~^^ReZnOr_CrYpT^AnGeL_MaNSoN_NiN_AnTiChRiSt^cHiK~~~~~~


Hello, boys and girls! I know I've been "M.I.A." for a while, but I've been busy with a lot of things, such as work, "social obligations", sleeping, and going fishing with my buddy Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd fame). Of course, there also hasn't really been a whole lot going on, except for that stupid election crap, which has nothing whatsoever to do with NIN and I'll be damned if I'm going to write a Meathead Perspective about it.



Many of you probably are unaware of this, but a new Nine Inch Nails CD comes out today! If you haven't already downloaded it from Napster, you should go out and purchase it. On the other hand, if you have already downloaded it, you should go out and purchase it. PAY THE MAN HIS FUCKING MONEY! Trent might not know it if you rip him off, but Jesus does.

With the release of this exciting new EP, it is my civic duty to examine it and make stupid jokes about it here on The Meathead Perspective. So, without further ado, I am proud (I guess) to present:




Things Falling Apart, the latest offering from industrial rock wizard Trent Reznor and his little punk garage band "Nine Inch Nails", features remixes of songs from their 1999 double-LP The Fragile, as well as a couple of other unreleased songs. And pulsing synths. But you already knew that.

There are three remixes of "Starfuckers, Inc.", and I'm not entirely too sure why. They're all named "Starfuckers Inc. (version)", but I've given them my own personal names, as I'll explain in a bit. Now sit down and shut up while I give a more detailed review of each individual album track.



Slipping Away - If you thought "Into the Void" presented the listener with Trent Reznor at the height of his funkiness, you are now proven WRONG. This remix, allegedly created by Reznor and Alan Moulder, makes me want to dance, dance, dance!
It's FUN!!! I can do "The Robot".


The Great Collapse - This poor little song didn't make the final cut of The Fragile, but Trent felt sorry for it and decided to let it be on this album instead. What a nice guy. This track is a bit repetitive, and fairly simplistic, and a bit repetitive, but after listening to it a few times, it grew on me, kinda like a mild case of hives. I don't mean that in a bad way or anything. I like this song; it's very computer-sounding. The ending is rather strange, though, with a neutered Trent Reznor singing the chorus from "The Wretched". But I guess that's okay... it's his damn album, he can do whatever he wants.

The Wretched (version) - Keith Hillebrandt proves with this track that not only is he a sexy, sexy man, but he also knows how to make a rockin' good remix. One might even state that this remix rivals the original. This version opens up sounding a lot softer, but then... AAHHHH!!! Love those phat beats! Keith makes really good computer music. Thank you Mr. Hillebrandt!


Starfuckers, Inc (What The Fuck Is This Shit Remix) - This is the first instance of "Starfuckers, Inc (version)" on the album. This track only goes to show that you shouldn't drink and remix. Now, I'm sure that Adrian Sherwood is a nice guy. I bet he even recycles. So when I say that listening to this remix made me want to hang myself with the nearest available telephone cord, I mean that in the nicest way possible. Believe it or not, the LASERS at the beginning are probably the best part.

The Frail (version) - If there's one thing I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, it's the fact that the previous track eventually ends, giving way to this interesting little piece of music. I don't know much about this "Benelli" person(s), but judging from their contribution to this album, I'd say that at the very least, they get a Scratch-N-Sniff smiley face sticker for originality. No elements of the original song (in other words, the piano) were used in this track. They started completely from scratch. And they did a jolly good job! Bravo! *Golf Clap*

Transformers, Inc - Why do I call this remix "Transformers, Inc"? Because it sounds like music from the Transformers cartoon and/or feature-length film. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. It's just a little odd. I suppose it's okay that NIN is dabbling in Transformers music for this remix, but if I see one song about the Decepticons on the next album...

Where Is Everybody? (version) - Telefon Tel Aviv demonstrates that they, too, can make really cool computer music! It sounds a bit like Trent Reznor is trapped inside his Apple computer, and instead of saying "Charlie, go find a crowbar and get me the fuck out of here," he is singing the words to "Where Is Everybody".


Metal - Oh boy, it's time for Metal, NIN's computery cover of the song by Gary Numan. This sounds pretty much the way I imagined it would from hearing the short clips that were "leaked" a while back, but I liked the clips, and therefore I like the full song! Congratulations, Trent! You've earned the Meathead Seal of Approval?! I'd like to invite all of those individuals insisting that the crappy fake "Metal" track (circulating on Napster several months ago) was real to now engage in sexual relations with themselves.

10 Miles High (version) - Although I like this song, the version on this album is nearly identical to the versions previously released, and therefore I don't feel like reviewing it. So there.

Starfuckers, Inc (Aphex Clouser Mix) - Charlie Clouser manages to completely dismantle and fuck up the original "Starfuckers", but unlike the Adrian Sherwood remix, Charlie's version is enjoyable, and doesn't invoke suicidal urges. I was really surprised by this remix, since it's a very sharp turn from his usual remixing style. Even though it sounds suspiciously like something that would pop out of the warped mind of Richard D. James, it does show a nice amount of creativity on Charlie's part... and for this, Charlie Clouser, we salute you!



All in all, I think this is a good CD. And I don't mean that in an ass-kissing kind of way... if I was just kissing ass, I would say that the "Down In It" single is worth buying. No, I think that this is a good CD that deserves better than the 2-and-a-half-star rating those bastards at Rolling Stone gave it.

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.

[--insert Thanksgiving image here--]



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