November 27, 2002 Trent Is Probably Not Dead 
Hey boys and girls! It's another wonderful day, and Uncle Meathead is here to share it with you! Some of you have complained that I've been a little grumpy lately. Well, it's a little hard not to be grumpy when the entire world is full of ignorant retards. But right now I'm feeling fantastic, so worry not! We're going to have lots of fun today! I will, anyway, after I'm done typing up all this crap!You may have heard Mommy and Daddy talking about how Trent Rezman has been taking a long time to release the new Nine Inch Nails album and the Tapeworm album. They might have said things like "Trent is a lazy, useless piece of shit," "Trent must have gotten abducted by space aliens," or "Screw this, I'm going to go listen to Linkin Park." True, it has been a little while since the last proper Nine Inch Nails album. And yes, Tapeworm has been in a perpetual state of "coming right along" since 1996. But that's no reason to get discouraged! Mommy and Daddy are just stupid. Don't listen to them. You were adopted anyway. You might also have noticed that the official NIN site has been "updated!" The entire site has been removed and replaced with a simple gray NIN logo, but unfortunately the forums are still there. What does this mean? That there's BIG NEW COOL STUFF coming, of course! Maybe. I mean, yeah! What? This is definite proof that Trent Retzer will at some point in time release more music! Probably kind of soon, sort of! Because I just love kids (and because of my court-mandated community service), I've taken up writing some totally neat, educational children's books! Most of them are about things like why sniffing markers is bad for you and why you should never, ever defecate in the fitting rooms at Target. But I also took the time to write a fun little book about the current goings-on at Nothing Studios! You'd better like it, or else I'll tell Mommy what you have hidden in the closet! Seriously, I will. Don't fuck with me. Happy Thanksgiving!
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