March 13, 2003
It's now been exactly one long-ass time since nin.com and tapeworm.net have been taken down, and there's still no sign of anything new or interesting on the horizon. Fortunately, while I am physically incapable of providing you with brand new exciting NIN news, I am able to waste your time by putting up stupid junk that has little to nothing to do with NIN whatsoever. And that's really what the Meathead Perspective is all about. Well, that and chicks.
You may recall that a few days ago, I asked you to send along some pictures of interesting Reznorpuppet? variations that you have made. I've since received a number of submissions, and an alarming percentage of these have had nothing to do with the Reznorpuppet? at all. This "contest" had one rule, and almost nobody followed it. I guess I shouldn't have made the rule so strict. Anyway, let's take a look at some of the crap people sent me:
The image shown here on the left, by my close personal German friend email@example.com, is my favorite. While not so much "puppets" as "demonic voodoo dolls capable of horrific acts of incomprehensible evil," they're close enough, and they help feed my insatiable hunger for extremely creepy things. This would be the grand prize winner of the trip to Hawaii if this were in fact a real contest in which the winner won a trip to Hawaii.
The second-place winner, who will receive a nonexistent Maytag refrigerator, is Britty L. Stahlman. She brings us this mildly unsettling photograph featuring paper bag effigies of Justin Timberlake, Marilyn Manson, T.Rez, and Fred Durst. While not quite as disturbing as the previous sandbags-from-hell, the striking resemblance to Spongebob Squarepants on mescaline is quite impressive and definitely scores points in my book. Hats off to you, Britty (if that's your real name)!
This one was sent in by a Patrick Valenzuela, and includes not only a puppet of the Rez, but also what appears to be a blue sock puppet. The sock puppet allegedly represents Maynard James Keenan, but looks a hell of a lot more like a Shyguy () from Super Mario Bros. 2. I really like Super Mario Bros. 2, so that's why I decided to include this picture in today's update. I always heard that Wart was most vulnerable to the onions than the other vegetables, but I'm not entirely sure if that's true or not. To me it always seemed to not matter which vegetables you threw at him. I usually played as Luigi, but the Princess had that cool float thing she did, and Toad was good at picking up coins really fast. Mario was fucking useless.
This one has actually been sitting on my hard drive for quite a while. It was sent in my other close personal German friend Chris, who runs the Internet web-sites "thefragile.com" and "spstuff.com". Instead of using the traditional paper bag, Chris dared to be different and used regular paper instead! To me it looks like Trent Reznor wearing a straight jacket, which would be appropriate since only crazy people take 5 years to release an album! Hahahahahahaha! Damn. That was funny. Anyway, this puppet deserves honorable mention since it's the only one that you can wear on your finger. It could add a whole new level of fun to flipping people off. Pure genius! Congratulations Chris, you win the fake Nobel Prize.
That's all for today's nauseatingly exciting update. I hope I've been able to distract you from the agonizing lack of NIN news for a few minutes. TTYL LOL!