January 27, 2004
WTF Week, Day 2
Wow! This guest columnist idea is turning out great! You wouldn't believe how much positive feedback I've been getting so far. This has to be, hands down, the single best idea ever for the Meathead Perspective. Don't worry, it's not over yet! We still have four more of these things to
Without further ado, let's get on with the next totally awesome, arbitrarily-selected guest column! Again, since there were no pictures, I threw in some myself. Huzzah!
Locomotive Rock Magizine
In an exclusive interveiw with the presumed dead frontman of the premier "Techno-Goth" Band nine inch nails, Trent Rezner, Information about the eagily awaited album "bleedthrough" was uncoverd. If you havent heard of this mostly Underground band, we dont blame you, nether have we! apparently they were formed in 1996 by rezner and already have over 2 albums. an extencive research into the band uncoverd about 450000 websites devoted to the band, so we can presume they have sold millions of albums and have a hardcore fanbase of thousands. This magazine would also like to metion that nine inch nails has been associated with MARILYN MANSON.
LRM- "so mr. Rezner...
T.R.- "im sorry i would like to interupt you there to make a special anouncment. From this album on, I will no longer be refered to as Trent Rezner. Deep thort into this matter has left me with the conclusion that the name my parents gave me simply isent cool enough for my fans. the deserve better. from now on I am to be known as "Osama Bin Michelle Gellar".
LRM- "Osama Bin Michelle Gellar?"
O.B.M.G- "yeah. you see what i did there? I took the name of a notorius figure in the media and a young starlet and put them together. ironic huh?"
LRM- "well, its certinly imaginitive..."
O.B.M.G- "...and completly origanal"
LRM- "right... so, Mr. gellar, nobody has seen or heard you since 1999..."
O.B.M.G.- "not true. I did a song for the Tomb raider soundtrack "deep". that movie was cool, right? got young people listening to my songs dident it?"
O.B.M.G. - "plus i appeared on video at Johnny Cash's memorial service. Me a johnny were tight. thats why i let him do one of my songs. you know that one 'Hurt'? i wrote that..."
LRM- "yes we know. Shut up about it already"
O.B.M.G- "but it makes me cool right? me being associated with the "man in black"
LRM- "then why dident you perform at the service?"
O.B.M.G- "I was busy..."
LRM- "oh yes. Your new album 'bleedthrough'. tell us about it"
O.B.M.G- "well, it has come to my attention that i am veiwed by the media as simply another rock star. I want to show them that im also about art, and stuff. Im a very arty, sophisticated person you know. dident you see me drinking absinthe in the "the perfect drug" video?. so for this album, i have explored another time and place, musicly speaking, for my inspiration."
LRM- "And that is..."
O.B.M.G- "post jazz ethnic getto poetry"
LRM- "You mean rap?"
O.B.M.G-" yes. ive had all my G's kickin' it with me in the studio with me for this one. Dr. Dre is back, aswell as some new frien..ugh, i mean fresh gangstas such as nelly and fitty cent"
LRM- "sounds great. what made you decide to take things in this direction?"
O.B.M.G- "well, day, i was watching mtv and i noticed there were alot of black people on it: both african americans and goths. i figured, since im already a gothic icon i can combine the two to make one super cool album"
LRM- "so your saying that bleedthrough is..ur..'GothiCrap'?"
LRM- "and you dont have a problem with this?"
O.B.M.G.-"Just giving the kids what they want"
LRM- "like insane clown posse'"
O.B.M.R- " .....urg...well...Next question"
LRM- "when did you first become interested in gothical music?"
O.B.M.R- "When "hot topic" opened up"
LRM- "was that before or after you were signed by MARILYN MANSONS record label?"
O.B.M.R- " wat? no, you got it all wrong. I Recorded Brian.."
LRM- "...you mean, MARILYN MANSON"
O.B.M.R.-" ..urr, yeah..Anyway, i recorded him in my studio, not the other way around.
(editorial note: don't believe him, children. Everyone knows that MARILYN MANSON was recorded by the prince of darkness himself, thous making him evil and cool.)
LRM- "sure. if you were so close to MARILYN MANSON, then why havent you done any more projects with him?"
O.B.M.R.-"Why do you keep saying MARILYN MANSON?"
LRM- "so someone might actually be tricked into reading this crap. Anyway, thats all we have time for. any last things you want to say?"
O.B.M.R- "buy bleedthrough. in stores soon"
LRM-" ok. from all of us here at locomotive rock magazine, we want to say MARILYN MANSON, MARILYN MANSON, MARILYN MANSON.