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November 19, 2004
November Update!!!!!!!1

Hi, fuckers. I was just dropping by to water the plants, feed the fish, check for dead vagrants, that sort of thing, and I realized it's been a while since I gave my 0.227602 pesos on the current NIN situation. This is mainly because there isn't a "current NIN situation". Well, that's not entirely true. I suppose there is one, in the same sense that there is a "current Nirvana situation" (Kurt Cobain is still dead). But I digress. There actually have been a few marginally noteworthy non-events in NIN-Land? over the past month or so. And since I have nothing better to do at the moment, I might as well write something stupid about it.

First and foremost, I am sad. As both of you who bother checking up on nin.com should know, Trap Rinser has decided to no longer title his imaginary new album BLEED-THRU. It makes me sad because I really enjoyed typing out all those HTML tags every time I mentioned the title, and now I'm going to miss that. On the plus side, however, the title switch officially renders all that crappy fan-made cover art completely useless. Well, more completely useless than it already was, anyway. I think that's funny, mainly because I'm an asshole, but also because it truly is funny. Hey!

The new title that we'll be hearing for the next year or so before it gets changed again is the gut wrenching TOTALLY RAD With Teeth. My initial reaction to this new title was projectile vomiting and seizure "Wow, NIN rocks!"

Despite my overwhelmingly positive (and not made up at all) reaction, it seems that other "fans" out there have been less receptive of With Teeth. To these people, I ask this question: Is Pretty Hate Machine a good title? (Hint: no, it isn't) But if it weren't for that horribly-named album with the pastel cover, we wouldn't have the rockin' concert-opener "Terrible Lie"! There are a couple other decent songs on there, too. So don't just write off this nonexistent new record because of its title, because if you do, you will make Trent cry, and then we'll end up with "Something I Can Never Have (part 2)". And nobody wants that.

I ate some really spicy Buffalo wings the other day, and they made me have to go to the bathroom really bad. While I was in there, I thought up of some NIN album titles that would be somewhat worse than With Teeth. I hope you like them -- or rather, DON'T like them, because they're really bad! ;)

"Nine Inch Nails: A Llama Peed In My Hair Once (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: New Jersey Is Weird (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: Butt Party (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: More Starfuckers Remixes We Found On Dave Ogilvie's Hard Drive (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: JUSTIN BAILEY (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: With Paws - Duets With My Doggy (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails: High Fructose Corn Syrup (Halo 19)"
"Nine Inch Nails:


I don't feel like doing that dumb list anymore, so here's another hilarious picture of Tremp McReznon, With Teeth!!! Exciting and sparkly



Let's be honest, no matter what the title would have been announced as being, jerks like you (and often, me) would have picked it apart and decided it sucks. But it's a little unfair to judge the title without understanding the subject matter behind it. And hey, at least the album will never actually come out and thereby justify your fears of the music sucking. See, I'm always looking at the bright side of things. You should try it sometime! :D



Another thing that I guess is important and worth talking about is the upcoming release of The Downward Spiral: Deluxe Edition.


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