August 11, 1999
Winning Souls For Trent
It can be hard being a NIN fan in this day and age. With the airwaves being polluted by such evil filth as Backstreet Boys and Matchbox 20, there is a lot to distract people from the wonderful music of Nine Inch Nails. But what are we doing to help the situation? Can we just sit idly by as people like Britney Spears and Ricky Martin rape the eardrums of millions of innocent, unsuspecting victims around the world? NO!
Quit your damn whining, you pansy! Now it's easier than ever to witness to people about Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails, thanks to these totally rad new NIN tracts, from Meathead Publications???! Just leave them in a conspicuous location, like your history teacher's secret marijuana stash in his lower right desk drawer, and that's all there is to it!
That's probably because you were using those religious Jesus tracts. Dumb ass. If you want to get people to listen to NIN, you need to use NIN tracts, from Meathead Publications???.
What the hell are you waiting for? Order some NIN tracts, from Meathead Publications??? today! Just send a self-addressed, stamped envelope, and $40,000 to:
c/o Crazy Jose's Ripoff Emporium
515 Bluebell Drive
Little Creek, OR 97322