August 12, 2007
I Can't Believe It's Not NIN!

Imitators. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. Whenever someone has an original concept or idea, it's inevitable that someone else will attempt to cash in on it by following along the same path. Anything for a little piece of the pie.
Nine Inch Nails is no exception. Upon the huge success of The Downward Spiral in 1994, the suits at the other record companies scrambled to find bands that had a similar sound to them, so that they could ride along on Trent Reznor's wave. The result was a score of clones which tried to mimic the NIN sound, but at best only managed to capture the very basic outlines of Reznor's vision.
A shining example of this is the popular, MTV friendly rock group Stabbing Kills. Their debut album, Beautiful Angst Factory, has sold well over a million copies, and has spawned the radio hits "I'm So Empty", "Life Is Misery", and "I'm In a Lot of Pain". I caught up with Stabbing Kills lead singer Brent Fresno recently, and sat him down for an interview.

MEATHEAD: Hey Brent, thanks for agreeing to do this interview.

BRENT FRESNO: No problem, man.

MH: You've sold a buttload of records.

BF: Uh.. well.. yeah.

MH: And your songs are played in heavy rotation on radio and MTV.

BF: That's right.

MH: How does that make you feel?

BF: Well, I'm not complaining. (laughs)

MH: I bet. So, where do you get the inspiration to write such creative, original music?

BF: It comes straight from the heart, Meathead. I have some musical influences, but for the most part, I just write what i feel.

MH: I see. You've been compared to such bands as.. Nine Inch Nails.. and, well, that's about it, really. People say that you try to copy them. What do you have to say about that?

BF: That's ridiculous. Anyone who's really listened to our music would know better than to make such an unfounded statement as that. I won't deny that Trent Reznor has been somewhat of an influence on me, but our band definitely does not try to "copy" his music.

MH: Oh come on. "Beautiful Angst Factory"?

BF: What?

MH: "Pretty Hate Machine"?

BF: What are you trying to say exactly?

MH: Okay play dumb then. So, where do you see Stabbing Kills in the future?

BF: We've got some great ideas in store for our fans. (grins)

MH: Oh yeah? Like what? An EP called "Broke"? How about a double album entitled "The Frail"?

BF: Hey, those are pretty cool ideas! I have some similar things in mind, actually.

MH: What a surprise.

BF: Are you being sarcastic with me?

MH: Me? Sarcastic? No, I wouldn't be sarcastic to you. That would be rude. Eat dick.

BF: What did you say?!

MH: Sorry, I just had something in my throat. Any more singles coming off your album anytime soon?

BF: Uh.... well, we're thinking about "I Hate My Life".

MH: Do you hate your life?

BF: Well, no, not really.. but it sounds good as a title.

MH: I do.

BF: You do what? Hate your life?

MH: No, I hate your life.

BF: What's that supposed to mean?

MH: What do you think it means? It means you're a worthless, talentless waste of semen.

BF: Fuck you! I don't have to put up with this shit!

MH: And yet those of us with taste in music have to put up with the lame crap you keep churning out. How is that fair?

BF: I'm gonna kick your ass!!

(A brief scuffle ensues)

MH: Well, we're about out of time for now. Thanks for stopping by, Brent.

BF: (gasp) My legs!! I can't feel my legs!! Call 911!! AAAHHH!!!! The pain!! Oh God it hurts!! (screams)

MH: Shut up, Brent.

Stay tuned next week for when we duct tape United States Secretary of State Madeline Albright to a cross and force her to listen to the Fixed EP while watching hardcore llama porn.

Until next time...

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