December 15, 1999
A Very Important Message
Lately I've grown concerned that some readers of the Meathead Perspective may not have an entirely firm grasp of what this page is all about. Therefore, I'm going to devote this week's edition to informing people about what exactly the Perspective is. Check out the supa-dupa-fly multicolored chart below.
HOW TO READ THE MEATHEAD PERSPECTIVE
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A. This is the title graphic. It's just there to look flashy, and has no real bearing on the rest of the page. It is not there to turn you on.
B. Links to other Meathead endeavors, the Web Hole and Meathead's goddamn techno music. You may visit these at your leisure, but nobody's holding a gun to your head. Yet.
C. Click this thingy to go to the NIN Hotline's main page, where you can read about real NIN news and goings-on, as opposed to this page, which is primarily bullshit (see E).
D. These are pictures, usually stolen from other websites, which I have bastardized with my magic paint programs.
E. A very large percentage of what you will read here is a big fat lie. This is what the Meathead Perspective is all about! Except for last week's thing about the Beastie Boys. That was real.
F. The SiteTracker banner at the bottom of the page isn't just there to look pretty. It also gives me information about YOU! It tells me your IP address, what kind of computer you're using, your Social Security number, what you look like naked, and lots of other neat things.
G. In the same sense that one might pick their nose and wipe it under their chair, the previous editions of the Meathead Perspective are saved here for your viewing delight.
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HOW TO SPOT BULLSHIT
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Some people might ask, "Hey Meathead, how can I know what's real and what's bullshit?" The answer, unfortunately, can be difficult for some. Take a look at the two similar pictures of Trent Reznor above. One of them is a normal picture, and the other is one that has been edited. Can you spot the fake? Take your time.
The fake picture is on the right. Trent Reznor is not a pirate, he is a musician.
Okay, let's try again.
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This one's a little trickier. The picture on the left shows NIN bassist Danny Lohner being buddy-like with studio engineer Leo Herrera. The picture on the right shows Danny Lohner being buddy-like with former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon. One of these is a fake.
If you picked the one on the right, you are correct! Richard Nixon passed away in 1994, and therefore would most likely not be hanging out with Danny Lohner. However, if you chose the picture on the left, you are an idiot.
OTHER THINGS TO REMEMBER
Here's a list of some pointers you should keep in mind, to help make things easier on all of us. Write them down if you have to.
• Meathead is not Trent Reznor.
• Meathead is not a close personal friend of Trent Reznor.
• Meathead cannot assist you with getting tickets and/or backstage
passes to NIN shows.
• Meathead is not accepting demos for Nothing Records.
• Meathead is not Trent Reznor.
• The Meathead Perspective is only a sub-page of The NIN Hotline;
Meathead does not maintain the Hotline itself.
• Meathead likes The Fragile very much.
• Meathead is not Trent Reznor.
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I hope this has cleared things up for everyone. The Perspective will return to its normal broadcast schedule next week. Just imagine how much better you'll feel now that you know it's all bullshit!
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